MAHAYANA SUTRA

CHAPTER TWO. ATTAINMENT OF KUNDALINI YOGA. PART 1


REALIZATION HAD COME - WALKING THE PATH OF BODDHISATTVA

Vayaviya. Today 52 or 53 breaths. Strong emotion as follows occured to me at that time.

I was born in this world for salvation. All soul exists so as to attain self realization and enlightenment.

I shall become Mahayana Buddha some day. I shall support the salvation by reincarnating over and over in this world of suffering (like Master Asahara) until the day may come when this world is saved.

I shall walk the path of Boddhisattva.

Even if it were to take thousands of millionss of billions of years, even it it may take hundreds of karpas, until all beings enter Mahayana, I shall never find myself staying in stability no matter how wonderful world I may find, and no matter who beautiful world I may see.

Even if I were to reincarnate in the six realms of desires and be bornin severe circumstances, or be born invalid, no matter I may born as man or woman, I shall walk the path of Boddhisattva. No matter how long it may take, I shall walk the path of Boddhisattva of Mahayana until all living beings enter Mahayana.

I swore to Guru and the Great Lord Shiva.

I want to save. I want to be a Mahayana Buddha. I shall live for others. I must not look for my benefit. I don't live for myself.

I shall give this sware as my offering, so please bring me enlightenment and self realization. The moment I strongly promised as such, I understood;
Human beings (ordinary people) all live for themselves.
They act so as to satisfy their won desires.
This is the reason for all suffering.
Self (egoistic idea) always move as desire wants.
Searching pleasure, searching joy. They suffer when it is not fulfilled.
The foundamental reason for suffering is the trial to satisfy selfish desires.
There is no suffering if I do not pursuit something.
No suffering occurs if I am detached from everything.
Suffering exists because of the pursuit of one's own profit or own pleasure.
Human being originally is free. It can't be tied up with by other's egoistic idea.
Suffering occurs because people tries to tie up with each other.
Ordinary people pursuit pleasure and joy, and select oneself.
It brings momentary pleasure but suffering in the end.
A person with self realization understands that this is only the momentarily matters. So he do not select such path.
He finds pleasure in the benefit of other souls.
I should be careful when I do something, or when I speak.
I should act understanding what will be the result.
I can't observe things as it is when the profit of the self is concerned.
If I make other's pleasure as my pleasure, I can observe everying as it is.
I can't see others because of myself (egoistic idea).
If I do not exist here, everything can be seen as it is.
Because the attainers who do not pursuit anything can understand everything as it is.
There are only two paths. Whether one lives in the mountain so as not to be influenced by anyone,
Or whether to live for others.
Of course, since I made the vow of Mahayana, I shall choose the latter path.

I kept sitting even after Ms. H came to tell the time. I couldn't stop shedding tear because of this strong vow I had made, and the great impression to know the path which I had been searching for. It is because while I was making this swear, I had the great realization within me that the path of Mahayana is to live for others and that the eradication of suffering is equal to the eradication of the self, while I was making this swear.

CAUGHT IN MEANINGLESS THOUGHT

After Tsandali is over, I was to told to take meal so as to attend the intensive seminar which starts from tomorrow. Today at the time of Vayaviya, Master gave me energy. Since various meaningless thoughts occured in my mind, I tried to pretend strongly that I want to attain enlightenment. Ended on 12:00.

While doing kriya Yoga, Mr. S came. I don't feel good. Only meaningless thoughts occurs to me while practicing kriya Yoga.

Since there was a pain in my legs, I practiced Asanas for 20 minutes and went on to Pranayama of Tsandali. something strange. A lot of meaningless thoughts. I am being caught to the meaningless thoughts. Perhaps it is because of the influence of Mr. S.

I became conscious after going into some Astral world. Practicing pranayama so as to let the situation be better, but meaningless thoughts appears again. Irritation. Strange energy turns. I can't keep sitting. Many times I thought of asking Master for help, but I waited until the end of the schedule.

7:00. I call Master.

He says, "Leave everything and just do your practice!".

I began the meditation of Tsandali. but it seems that I immediately fell asleep in sitting posture. I was dreaming about the work in Aum. For twice or three times I went into theAstral world as if my breath being stopped. In such case, I couldn't understand whether it was a dream or not.

Unexpectedly, Master comes and gives me energy. I am very sorry about this. I must attain enlightenment as quick as possible. I always take energy from Master. I must do the best I can to attain elightenment as fast as possible.

Great Guru. Nothing can be compared to this energy of the Master. I may never pay back to this merit no matter how many lives I shall live and work for him. I can say that the power of the Master is great as such.

Thank you very much. Any words of thankfulness is not enough. I really thank you.

I, Khema who has weak power of will, shall do my best to attain enlightenment as fast as possible.

I swear to the Guru and the Great Lord Shiva;

"I WILL ATTAIN ENLIGHTENMENT IN THIS LIFE."

This is because I have recieved such a great profit from the Guru and the Great Lord Shiva.

I will attain enlighenment, self realization, and save all sentient beings!

I must do it.

FIGHTING AGAINST PAIN

Reading back what I had written on my notebook makes me little bit shy. However, I think I am honestly writing how I feel.

The moment I finished writing the last page, Master came into my room. As I told him the bad situation on the day before, he told me that it was the influence of the thoughts of Mr. S as I had expected. Master told me that Mr. S is now in rather serious devil's abode. The fact that my condition became bad by synchronizing his vibration indicates that the devil exists within me. I can say so because Master do not recieve any influence at all.

he gave me energy and said, "I took away the influence of S." He went on, "Your level of consciousness is still low. What you have to do is to attain enlightenment. Other things have nothing to do with you. You should try to think nothing but the high world.". I really think so too. As I became able to recognize the meaningless thoughts which was hidden in my subconsciousness, I begun to think of myself as the accumulation of meaningless thoughts. Various things suddenly occured in my sufficient consciousness without any order; what happened when I was small, what was very impressive, difficulties, pleasure, bad deeds which I used to hide, just a scene from TV, newspaper, magazine, and so forth.

My sleeping hour is about only 2 to 3 hours a day. On about 3 o'clock in the morning, I say down because I thought I have to sleep earlier than usual so as to prepare for today's seminar. I recognized the strong heat in Muradara chakra and Anahata Chakra. They are so hot that I can't sleep even if I lie down.

I remembered that the pain in my legs were so strong that i couldn't keep the same posture for few minutes at the meditation of Tsandali yesterday. The Master said to me, "The pain is increasing because of the withdrawal of Apana vayu. You have to bear such a pain.".

I decided to sit until morning since I can't sleep. I sat in the right posture and concentrated my consciousness at the crown of my head. The heat still remains. In addition, the pain in my legs, especially knees and shins, began.

(I shall fight against this pain. I must sit until the morning. I need such effort in order to attain enlightenment.)

Since I was told to chant Mantra of Guru Yoga whenever I feel pain, I held Vajra Mudra and begun to chant Mantra. AsI chant the Mantra, the pain decreased a little, but soon the pain returned. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
I really have no power of will! I must try!
I can't attain enlightenment because of this attachment toward my body.
This pain is not mine!
This body is not mine!
This pain is not mine!
This body is not mine!
I kept chanting with all my effort. I never know how long have I chanted. It was a long time according to howI felt, but in fact it may be only 20 or 30 minutes. The pain in my shin begun tochange into numbness. It was surpriseing phenomena. It was like the pain in my shin withdrawing to my knees. By this, it seemed like the pain decreased into half. I kept sitting furthermore, but it seems that didn't have enough power of will. I released my lets before the morning came. I don't know when the flame of Kundalini at my back was gone.